March 2011
help.
i am lost. i am searching. i am wandering aimlessly in circles. this is me sending out my S.O.S. i want to be found. i want to be rescued. i want to be saved. cause this time, i don’t think i can save myself.
“go haunt someone elses dreams. cause your not welcome in mine any longer.”
“I’m about to lose my mind, I’m running out of time. I need a doctor,...”
– “I Need A Doctor” by Eminem featuring Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey
alone.
do you ever feel like you are the only one? do you feel like there is absolutely NO one else that could possiblely understand? like you are all by yourself and absolutely no one cares. like no matter what you do it’s never enough to get anyones attention. do you ever feel like you have no one to talk to because you don’t want to upset thier lives? like you have no one to talk to that...
“looking back it was all so easy, i hope you know you know you’re my last...”
lost.
north. south. east. west. up. down. left. right. which way do i go? i have absolutely no idea. i don’t want to let anyone down, i don’t want to make the “wrong choice.” but, what if i let myself down? what if that wrong choice is the right choice for me?
i am who i am. i am broken. i am damaged. i am different. i am lost. i am all by myself. i am searching. i am me.
and...
cry.
you would think that by now i would be over it. but its so not true. today is definitely not one of my good days. i want to hide in a corner and bawl my eyes out. unfortunately for my life thats not an option. i told myself that i wouldnt cry anymore tears for you. you took my heart and ripped it to shreds. and you left it like that. you broke me down then you disappeared. you were my best friend...
tears.
tears. they fall down like rain. big, little, happy, sad. they are all the same to me. i wish they were happy. i wish they were angry. i wish they didn’t exsist. but somethings i believe we cry because its the only way let out the heart ache. it’s like draining a wound, letting out the infection. tears are the hearts way of getting out the ache. the painful stabbing feeling that makes...
“How did we ever come to this? Never thought you’d be someone I’d...”
10. One Confession.
I might look like I am perfectly fine. I might even smile, laugh, and crack a few jokes. But that means absolutely NOTHING. I am damaged, and I will NEVER be the same. I am NOT over you, and everytime I hear your name it just all comes rushing back to me. so THANKS for f**king up my life. I just want things to go back to the way they were before I wanted to cry all the time, before I wanted you to...
9. Two Smilely's That Describe My Life.
:/ :D
8. Three Turn ONS.
1. Brown Eyes (they get me everytime). 2. Tall and Strong (I want to feel protected). 3. Funny (I lovelovelove to laugh).
7. Four Turn OFFS.
1. Smokes. 2. Disrespectful. 3. Lack of Personal Hygiene. 4. Cocky Attitude.
6. Five People Who Mean A Lot.
1. Jesus.
2. Alexis.
3. Breanna.
4. Megan R-H.
5. My Parents.
5. Six Things I Wish I Never Did.
I can honestly say I do not have regrets, or things I wish I never did. I have mistakes, and you always learn from mistakes. But, some mistakes I wish I never made:
1. Letting the relationship last that long and not standing up for myself sooner. 2. Telling my friend what she wanted to here when I shouldn’t have. 3. Lieing to you. 4. Not being myself when it was most important. 5. Being a...
“They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a...”
4. Seven Things That Cross My Mind Often.
1. Does my outfit match?
2. When do I work?
3. What is Olivia doing?
4. Crap! When is that due?
5. What the Hell.
6. Why?
7. Ugh. Just Shut Up. No One Cares.
3. Eight Ways to Win My Heart.
1. Be Yourself.
2. Surprise Me.
3. Be Honest. Always.
4. R-E-S-P-E-C-T Me.
5. Be A Little Romantic.
6. Accept Me the Way I Am.
7. Be Faithful.
8. Love Me.
“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can...”
2. Nine Things About Yourself
1. when i was younger Shania Twain was my favorite singer and she was my hero.
2. i read. a lot.
3. i love country music, and some rock and oldies.
4. i am a jeans, t-shirt/sweatshirt, and sneakers kinda girl.
5. i like guns, and shooting.
6. i collect lighthouses and postcards.
7. i am a coupon clipper.
8. i like men, not boys.
9. i am sarcastic with a don’t mess with me attitude.
1. Ten things you want to say to 10 people.
1. You Are Absolutely Gorgeous. and i mean that, no matter what you think about yourself, no matter what you see in the mirror. it’s lying to you if you don’t see how beautiful you are inside and out.
2. You Are Settling And You Can Always Do Better. i know you think he is your everything and you think he is the only one that will ever love you enough. but you are so wrong. i’ve...
